What is the middle child syndrome?

When you've got three kids in a family, as a parent you're outnumbered and as a kid chances are you might get lost in the middle. But what does all that say about your personality?

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure.

The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things. Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest.

Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. When forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative.

Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.

"Me Time" with Parents

Spend at least an hour a week individually, with each of your children. Take that child to the park, or to a movie, or out for ice cream. The activity you decide on doesn’t matter as much as the fact that you are spending one to one time with that child.

Special Days

Have “special” days for each of your children. Designate one day of the week as “Sherry’s day” another as “John’s” and another as “Pat’s.” Giving children this individual attention lets them know they are special to you, and to the family as a whole. On your child’s special day allow her to choose what your family watches on TV, what you will have for dinner, etc.

The ultimate goal is to raise healthy, happy and well adjusted children. Middle child syndrome is very real and these kids seem to need extra special attention to establish a worthiness of being loved and accepted. Take the extra time needed to care for your child!

Dore E. Frances, M.A., A.C.C.
Family & Parent Coach