Rumors can really hurt businesses .... and people

We’re all guilty of it every now and then: repeating a rumor we heard without verifying its authenticity. Often its a frivolous remark about someone’s new hair cut or chatting about someone’s ill health.

However, when it’s about businesses and people in a down economy, rumors become downright dangerous. Rumors can really hurt businesses and people ....And when it ’s about business and the people who run them or work there, in a down economy, rumors become downright dangerous....And a business can die because of a rumor.....And people can be hurt. When rumors start about a certain business closing the clients get nervous.

Our clients are families and their children. And I want to remind everyone about the harmful effect on businesses and people and our clients when an untrue rumor is spread ...

In the past few weeks, I have heard about many other businesses — and I am sure you have too — that were supposed to be closing, however, in reality, are doing fine. When checking with people in tracing back to who said what, I found that the Executive Directors and even Founders of companies have failed to properly fact check and unknowingly helped spread a rumor. Rumors are hurtful and they are about people. A business can die because of a rumor. When rumors start about a certain business closing, the clients get nervous. It can go so far as to become a self-fulfilling prophecy and lead to so much lost business, the once-healthy business has to close. Is that the intention of the rumor spreading? know that most professionals in this industry are torn when they hear a rumor about a business closing or even what a person may or may not be doing.

How many actually follow up to then find out it’s not true? I am not going to write a story about this latest rumor that came to my attention. That would be tough because by then naming the business who was spreading the rumor, I am bringing them unwelcome attention. Plus, I have enough stories to write while dealing in the world of things that are true. Running down everything that’s not true in this industry would be difficult. And at the end of the day, no private business owner is expected to share the intimate details of their financial shape with the public. While publicly-traded companies and governmental units are required to share financial statements with the press, that’s not the case with private owners. Sometimes it’s just not our business. I do my best to cover the industry news in a manner that is filled with integrity and professionalism.

That is whether or not a program or service in this industry is brand new and just opening their doors or closing or is experiencing an expansion or celebrating a milestone.

I promise to shy away from reporting (and therefore repeating) rumors. I would like to remind everyone about the harmful effect on businesses and people when an untrue rumor is spread.

The latest two rumors that need to be squelched about me follows ................

I have been contacted about two rumors regarding me .... one contact came from a program Admission Director ... I was in the process of setting up a visit to their program and before we made all the final arrangements, they want to know if what they heard at IECA in San Francisco was true - I am assisting WWASP (World Wide Association of Specialty Programs) in placing kids in their program and being paid by WWASP.

Maybe the person or persons at IECA who started this rumor about me have a perfect reputation, however, I would be willing to bet that is not true. Fortunately I do have enough ethical standards on which I stand that this person asked me about what they heard and did not participate in spreading this rumor any further.

Also, just today as this article was being written, another Admission Director who was at IECA was told that I had illegally infiltrated the IECA membership bulletin board and was spreading rumors myself.

First of all, I did not even know IECA had a bulletin board as I am not a member. Second, I have much more important things to do with my computer skills than spend time getting into a site in which I have no interest.

And more important than all of that is my integrity and professionalism in working with kids and families.

I will be attending IECA conferences in the future. However, being that they refused my money last time, I will be attending as a guest at the hotel just so I can meet those that have questions about me face to face.

I am an independent therapeutic consultant and I plan on staying an independent therapeutic consultant.

And you can say you read it here first. I am not always right about every single thought or idea I put in this blog, but I know I’m right about this.

Rumors are amazing things in an industry like ours. During all the time I have been involved in this industry I’ve never understood where they come from, how they get started, how they spread, or why people assume a rumor is the gospel truth, no matter how ridiculous it is. Rumor mongering, frankly, is one of the things that keeps small people small. If there isn’t some sort of juicy gossip going around all on its own – with some grain of truth in it – people will make stuff up and start spreading it!

I’ve seen it happen over and over again through the years. An idle rumor that really doesn’t hurt anyone, one way or the other, is one thing, but an idle rumor that hurts a business or a person who runs a business is another matter completely. Rumor mongering will probably continue unabated, no matter how much any of us rail against it. I can only hope that people will go to the source and ask, before repeating something they absolutely do not know if it is true or not.

For those of you with kids or those working with kids which is most everyone in this industry - Let’s say you have a child that just heard a REALLY juicy rumor about someone they know. It may not be true, but it’s too good to keep to themselves. Their first instinct is to hop online and IM it to all their friends. - Who is role modeling for them, teaching them, how hurtful this can truly be?

When people are feeling bad about themselves, they sometimes think they’ll feel better if there were someone worse off than they are.

If everybody else is gossiping or spreading rumors, you might feel you have to do the same thing in order to fit in. When you know a secret that nobody knows, or are the first person in your group to hear a rumor, it can make you the center of attention.

Certain people always want to be in control and at the top of the ladder.

Let’s say you have a piece of wood, a nail, and a hammer. Pretend the wood is a person, and the nail is a nasty rumor about that person. If you hammer in the nail, you’re obviously hurting him or her. If you then pull out the nail…well, there’s still a hole in the wood, and the damage has been done. There are many reasons why that nail of a rumor can be so harmful.

Horizon Family Solutions
Dore E. Frances, M.A.
Therapeutic Consultant
(866) 833-6911
(541) 312-4422

Dore@dorefrances.com

IECA Board Refused Me to Attend Conference

IECA - Independent Educational Consultants Association NOT International Erosion Control Association. Both are IECA.

Either way, the word Independent says a lot.

"not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion, conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself: an independent thinker"

"not subject to another's authority or jurisdiction; autonomous; free: an independent businessman."

"not influenced by the thought or action of others: independent research"

Just to name a few ...................

Yes ..... it was 2005. I do not not know what the membership Bylaws say, or if there are even any membership Bylaws. Was the refusal to attend the IECA conference based on bias or discrimination? I believe it was based on fear.

True, IECA has the right to accept their own members. And I was not asking to be a member. I had already made the determination several years earlier that membership in IECA did not meet my own business, ethical, personal or professional needs. I was wanting to attend one of their conferences with some associates, who also were not members.

It would have given me the opportunity to gain some knowledge at the break out sessions and to network with others in the industry that I so passionately adore and give my life to. The reason I was refused entrance into the conference was because, as the letter from the Board of Directors states, I do not meet their professional ethics and they have some concerns. No further explanation. No details. And even though I responded with a professionally written letter to the Board of Directors, about my concerns, I received no response, ever.

(You can view the entire original documentation in my book - One Size Does Not Fit All). Obviously this is true in more ways that I have ever imagined when I started the book.

Every time there is an IECA conference I get asked by many associates, other Educational Consultants, and those who work for many of the programs I recommend, if I will be at the conference.

The "story" is boring to me now, although when I tell it I always get the same response - "Are you kidding? Are you serious? Is this for real? I have never heard of such a thing!".

Several people have even offered to pay my way to the next conference as they just want me to show up anyway.

I have no interest and I would not waste my time. No offense to those choosing to attend. If anything, this action by IECA confirmed to me more than ever why it is I choose not to be a member and why it would not have been a good fit for me, or for them. I am not asking for any sympathy. Quit that! Really!!

I have been told by many that I am the only person in the history of IECA that has been refused entry into a conference. Maybe ask Mark Sklarow about that just to be sure. That is pretty cool. Making history, as we have seen recently in our current Presidential Election, is a great thing most times.

"CHANGE"

"WE CAN"

I understand that every organization has goals and I assume intentions as to what they hope to accomplish.

And every organization such as IECA has a Board of Directors that can determine how aggressively they want to exercise their power. Obviously. And I understand that IECA can choose to limit their membership to those they want and refuse those they do not want. I am absolutely okay with that. I was not bidding to be a member. I simply wanted to attend a conference with some friends in the industry. Yes, they did return my conference fee with a letter from the Board of Directors, via Federal Express. I did lose out when I had to cancel my flight however, although I reused the tickets later with a $100 penalty. Whatever it was that brought them to this decision, I am okay with that. Really.

Being that they did not respond to my request for further conversations about their concerns, I can only assume they reacted based on fear of some sort. It happens. Actually, I am not sure any organization can actually refuse to let anyone attend, or rather be in the same hotel as the conference and network with others who are there. The refusal was more about attending their conference and being allowed to join in the break out sessions they offer. And maybe breakfast or lunch or something. However, it is so very expensive to attend these conferences, why would I waste my time after being "told" not to attend? I get to see almost everyone at NATSAP and other conferences and I see a lot of these people when I am touring programs and schools. I also live in a beautiful place - Bend, Oregon, and many people love to come here and always call and we get together. Interestingly, some want to keep our meetings confidential.

Now, that being said, I am well acquainted with a lot of great people who are members of IECA and with those who spend thousands of dollars attending their conferences as Vendors when their is a conference, so they can promote their program and school. And IECA has been around for more than 30 years. I have gathered many stories over the last 3 years about experiences and I know that for the most part, their heart is in the right place. No organization can monitor everyone 100% of the time. Even with Ethics Guidelines and Principles of Good Practice. It is just impossible.

I also have referred many parents to IECA members when what they needed was out of my expertise or a parent wanted someone in their local area for a face to face relationship. Many different Educational Consultants have many different areas of speciality. I have even been contacted by IECA members who have a particularly tough situation with a student and knew I would have references on who to refer them to for additional assistance.

Membership aside, most people in this industry want to do what is in the best interest of a child and their family.

So, I have moved on and I hope this will assist those in the future who still need and want to hear "the story".

I am proud to say that I am an honored member of the American Bar Association, Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates, and the National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs.

And, being that San Francisco is my hometown I may actually be around for the IECA Spring Conference. I am meeting with a friend who works for the San Francisco Chronicle around the same time to discuss my book, and maybe a story or two about the industry. Perhaps I will see you there!

Dore E. Frances, M.A., A.C.C.
Founder, Horizon Family Solutions, LLC